It Was All His Fault
by Doppler Effect
Summary: Alex just wanted to have dinner with a friend. Actually, he didn't want to do that either. K-Unit just wanted to have dinner. Tom just wanted to have some fun. And irony just wanted to pull a little prank...


a/n: I have other stuff to be typing, I know. But I'm doing this anyway because… I don't know, I'm an idiot?

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><p>Tom grinned in triumph as he watched Alex skirt through around the tables in the restaurant to find the bathrooms. He'd successfully managed to embarrass his friend by repeatedly asking him who he was going to go out with. Go figure. One could save the world, but one would never be able to save themselves from Tom Harris. Tom knew the chances of Alex going out with anyone were the same chances of him leaving espionage, but he could still joke around about it. Food had been Tom's idea, and he'd somehow managed to drag along Alex by telling him his parents were arguing again, which they were.<p>

Someone tapped his shoulder. A man was leaning backwards in his chair, and said something quickly to the person beside him before turning back to Tom. The man beside him had his head in one hand, obviously regretting having said something. "Um, hi," the first man said, "I'm trying to prove a point to my friend here," he gestured to the person next to him, "but he's not listening to me."

Tom grinned. "I know the feeling. The point?"

"Would it not be possible for everyone in this building to somehow be related to each other? I mean, if you went really far back, wouldn't we all be related? Like, somehow?"

Tom considered it. "Well, I guess it's possible. You should ask Alex about this when he gets back. I embarrassed him off, but he should be returning anytime now."

Eagle nodded, and turned to Wolf. "See! Even the teen in school agrees with me!" He paused, and then asked Tom, "You're still in school right?"

"Yeah."

"So there you go!"

"Oh God. Tom. What have you done?"

Tom glanced over his shoulder at the voice, surprised. Alex was standing there, looking horrified, and staring at the table of four men Tom was talking to. Snake coughed, having just taken a sip of his drink, and spit it back out. The other three stared at Alex.

"You guys all know each other?" Tom asked, looking between all of them.

"Unfortunately," Alex said, warily watching them. "What are you guys doing here? I thought I got a month off."

"We had no idea you were here." Fox raised his hands. "No idea. Should we all just, I don't know, pretend we never saw each other?"

"Wait a second," Wolf disagreed, and then turned to Alex. "You kicked me out of a plane!"

"Right, that… I thought we'd come to an agreement on that… No? Okay, um, sorry? But you weren't jumping, so…" Alex was smiling slightly. "It all turned out well in the end, so how about we all just ignore each other or something?"

"I don't know," Tom said with a grin. Alex's slight smile dropped, returning to the horrified look. "This is kind of funny for me, being a bystander and all. All I'm getting is you kicked someone out of a plane and you all know each other in a bad way."

Eagle laughed. "This is funny for me too! Especially since some evil people wouldn't let me talk to the kid because they said I'd be a bad influence…"

Alex looked at the other people. "You didn't stick him with Valium or anything? No? Huh."

"They said I'd be a bad influence!" Eagle said, still dramatizing everything with hand gestures. "Did they see Wolf? He must've traumatized the kid!"

Tom was still looking on, amused to no end. "No, but it must have been bad."

"It was! There's a reason he hasn't gotten laid yet!"

"Cub, what are you doing here?" Snake interrupted.

"I live here. In this area, anyway. Not in the restaurant."

"Alright, we're scaring the customers." Everyone but Fox looked around, confused, and became even more so when they saw that absolutely no one was looking their way. "I like the idea of all of us simply parting ways and forgetting this ever happened."

"Great idea right there." Alex nodded. "Tom?"

"How rude! You no longer want to talk to your friends!" Tom looked back to the unit. "I can't believe him. Isn't he just mean?"

Eagle shook his head in disgust. "Completely. Even after we let him stay in… the cabin…"

"…in Hell… with Wolf nearby…" Fox added on.

"…even while we were all ignoring him… and being bastards…" Snake continued.

"So he probably doesn't want anything else to do with us," Wolf pointed out. "And frankly, I think that's mutual for me."

"Yes! Now can we all move on?" Alex said, exasperated.

"Well, we haven't apologized yet…" Eagle pointed out. "Can't you wait one minute?"

Alex stared at him. Then, pretending no one at the table had ever spoken, he retook his seat.

Tom shook his head. "Nice to meet you, whoever you people are." He waved at the other table, and then scooted his chair back to his own table. Then, reconsidering, he scooted back. Alex put his head down on the table, groaning. It would never be over. "Hey," Tom asked Eagle. "How _do _you guys know each other?"

Eagle grinned. "Well-" Wolf kicked him under the table. His expression dropped, becoming completely serious. "Classified."

Tom nodded. "Right." In a hushed whisper he said, "Really, how?"

"Wait a second," Snake said, having tried to speak this entire time but never being able to. "What were you supposed to get a break from?"

Alex froze. Tom paused. Fox looked pointedly at the ceiling. Alex happened to see that, and said with a Cheshire grin, "Fox can tell you." The man looked at him, stricken, and Alex beamed at him. Tom laughed, and K-Unit rounded on their teammate.

"So, Fox. Something you wish to tell us?" Eagle asked.

"Um, no."

"Really?" Snake asked. "It seems you're hiding something."

"Yes. Any caffeine from Eagle."

"Hey!"

Tom shook his head, turning back to Alex. "You are so-hey!" The other four stopped talking, and looked to him. "The hell?" He snapped his fingers, as if a plan had just been foiled. "Evasion tactics. I knew he'd pull this sooner or later."

"He can't stop us forever," Eagle said, rubbing his hands together.

"Charge!" Tom shouted, keeping it to a level where no one else in the restaurant would think it would be loud. He pointed to the door, and then ran towards it, following his friend. But even as they all stepped out, looking for Alex, he was gone.

If only they had looked up.


End file.
